HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (2024)

HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1.

The Project Gutenberg EBook of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Part 1by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away orre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.orgTitle: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Part 1 Chapters I. to V.Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)Release Date: June 27, 2004 [EBook #7100]Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ISO-8859-1*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUCKLEBERRY FINN, PART 1 ***Produced by David Widger

(Tom Sawyer's Comrade)

By Mark Twain

Part 1

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CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.
Civilizing Huck.—Miss Watson.—Tom Sawyer Waits.

CHAPTER II.
The Boys Escape Jim.—Torn Sawyer'sGang.—Deep-laid Plans.

CHAPTER III.
A Good Going-over.—Grace Triumphant.—"One ofTom Sawyers's Lies".

CHAPTER IV.
Huck and the Judge.—Superstition.

CHAPTER V.
Huck's Father.—The Fond Parent.—Reform.

ILLUSTRATIONS.

The Widows
Moses and the "Bulrushers"
Miss Watson
Huck Stealing Away
They Tip-toed Along
Jim
Tom Sawyer's Band of Robbers
Huck Creeps into his Window
Miss Watson's Lecture
The Robbers Dispersed
Rubbing the Lamp
! ! ! !
Judge Thatcher surprised
Jim Listening
"Pap"
Huck and his Father
Reforming the Drunkard
Falling from Grace

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EXPLANATORY

IN this book a number of dialects are used, to wit: theMissouri negro dialect; the extremest form of the backwoodsSouthwestern dialect; the ordinary "Pike County" dialect; andfour modified varieties of this last. The shadings have not beendone in a haphazard fashion, or by guesswork; but painstakingly,and with the trustworthy guidance and support of personalfamiliarity with these several forms of speech.

I make this explanation for the reason that without it manyreaders would suppose that all these characters were trying totalk alike and not succeeding.

THE AUTHOR.

Scene: The Mississippi Valley Time: Forty to fifty yearsago

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CHAPTER I.

YOU don't know about me without you have read a book by thename of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter.That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth,mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he toldthe truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied onetime or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, ormaybe Mary. Aunt Polly—Tom's Aunt Polly, she is—andMary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, whichis mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I saidbefore.

Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me foundthe money that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us rich.We got six thousand dollars apiece—all gold. It was anawful sight of money when it was piled up. Well, Judge Thatcherhe took it and put it out at interest, and it fetched us a dollara day apiece all the year round—more than a body couldtell what to do with. The Widow Douglas she took me for her son,and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough living in thehouse all the time, considering how dismal regular and decent thewidow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn't stand it nolonger I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogsheadagain, and was free and satisfied. But Tom Sawyer he hunted meup and said he was going to start a band of robbers, and I mightjoin if I would go back to the widow and be respectable. So Iwent back.

The widow she cried over me, and called me a poor lost lamb,and she called me a lot of other names, too, but she never meantno harm by it. She put me in them new clothes again, and Icouldn't do nothing but sweat and sweat, and feel all cramped up.Well, then, the old thing commenced again. The widow rung abell for supper, and you had to come to time. When you got to thetable you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait forthe widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over thevictuals, though there warn't really anything the matter withthem,—that is, nothing only everything was cooked byitself. In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things getmixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things gobetter.

After supper she got out her book and learned me about Mosesand the Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat to find out all abouthim; but by and by she let it out that Moses had been dead aconsiderable long time; so then I didn't care no more about him,because I don't take no stock in dead people.

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Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me.But she wouldn't. She said it was a mean practice and wasn'tclean, and I must try to not do it any more. That is just theway with some people. They get down on a thing when they don'tknow nothing about it. Here she was a-bothering about Moses,which was no kin to her, and no use to anybody, being gone, yousee, yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a thing thathad some good in it. And she took snuff, too; of course that wasall right, because she done it herself.

Her sister, Miss Watson, a tolerable slim old maid, withgoggles on, had just come to live with her, and took a set at menow with a spelling-book. She worked me middling hard for aboutan hour, and then the widow made her ease up. I couldn't stoodit much longer. Then for an hour it was deadly dull, and I wasfidgety. Miss Watson would say, "Don't put your feet up there,Huckleberry;" and "Don't scrunch up like that,Huckleberry—set up straight;" and pretty soon she wouldsay, "Don't gap and stretch like that, Huckleberry—whydon't you try to behave?" Then she told me all about the badplace, and I said I wished I was there. She got mad then, but Ididn't mean no harm. All I wanted was to go somewheres; all Iwanted was a change, I warn't particular. She said it was wickedto say what I said; said she wouldn't say it for the whole world;she was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well, Icouldn't see no advantage in going where she was going, so I madeup my mind I wouldn't try for it. But I never said so, becauseit would only make trouble, and wouldn't do no good.

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Now she had got a start, and she went on and told me all aboutthe good place. She said all a body would have to do there wasto go around all day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever.So I didn't think much of it. But I never said so. I asked herif she reckoned Tom Sawyer would go there, and she said not by aconsiderable sight. I was glad about that, because I wanted himand me to be together.

Miss Watson she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome andlonesome. By and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers,and then everybody was off to bed. I went up to my room with apiece of candle, and put it on the table. Then I set down in achair by the window and tried to think of something cheerful, butit warn't no use. I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead.The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods everso mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing aboutsomebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying aboutsomebody that was going to die; and the wind was trying towhisper something to me, and I couldn't make out what it was, andso it made the cold shivers run over me. Then away out in thewoods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when itwants to tell about something that's on its mind and can't makeitself understood, and so can't rest easy in its grave, and hasto go about that way every night grieving. I got so down-heartedand scared I did wish I had some company. Pretty soon a spiderwent crawling up my shoulder, and I flipped it off and it lit inthe candle; and before I could budge it was all shriveled up. Ididn't need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad signand would fetch me some bad luck, so I was scared and most shookthe clothes off of me. I got up and turned around in my tracksthree times and crossed my breast every time; and then I tied upa little lock of my hair with a thread to keep witches away. ButI hadn't no confidence. You do that when you've lost a horseshoethat you've found, instead of nailing it up over the door, but Ihadn't ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad luckwhen you'd killed a spider.

I set down again, a-shaking all over, and got out my pipe fora smoke; for the house was all as still as death now, and so thewidow wouldn't know. Well, after a long time I heard the clockaway off in the town go boom—boom—boom—twelvelicks; and all still again—stiller than ever. Pretty soon Iheard a twig snap down in the dark amongst thetrees—something was a stirring. I set still and listened. Directly Icould just barely hear a "me-yow! me-yow!" down there. That wasgood! Says I, "me-yow! me-yow!" as soft as I could, and then Iput out the light and scrambled out of the window on to the shed.Then I slipped down to the ground and crawled in among thetrees, and, sure enough, there was Tom Sawyer waiting for me.

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CHAPTER II.

WE went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towardsthe end of the widow's garden, stooping down so as the brancheswouldn't scrape our heads. When we was passing by the kitchen Ifell over a root and made a noise. We scrouched down and laidstill. Miss Watson's big nigger, named Jim, was setting in thekitchen door; we could see him pretty clear, because there was alight behind him. He got up and stretched his neck out about aminute, listening. Then he says:

"Who dah?"

He listened some more; then he come tiptoeing down and stoodright between us; we could a touched him, nearly. Well, likelyit was minutes and minutes that there warn't a sound, and we allthere so close together. There was a place on my ankle that gotto itching, but I dasn't scratch it; and then my ear begun toitch; and next my back, right between my shoulders. Seemed likeI'd die if I couldn't scratch. Well, I've noticed that thingplenty times since. If you are with the quality, or at afuneral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy—ifyou are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why youwill itch all over in upwards of a thousand places. Pretty soonJim says:

"Say, who is you? Whar is you? Dog my cats ef I didn' hearsumf'n. Well, I know what I's gwyne to do: I's gwyne to set downhere and listen tell I hears it agin."

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So he set down on the ground betwixt me and Tom. He leanedhis back up against a tree, and stretched his legs out till oneof them most touched one of mine. My nose begun to itch. Ititched till the tears come into my eyes. But I dasn't scratch.Then it begun to itch on the inside. Next I got to itchingunderneath. I didn't know how I was going to set still. Thismiserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes; but itseemed a sight longer than that. I was itching in elevendifferent places now. I reckoned I couldn't stand it more'n aminute longer, but I set my teeth hard and got ready to try.Just then Jim begun to breathe heavy; next he begun tosnore—and then I was pretty soon comfortable again.

Tom he made a sign to me—kind of a little noise with hismouth—and we went creeping away on our hands and knees.When we was ten foot off Tom whispered to me, and wanted to tieJim to the tree for fun. But I said no; he might wake and make adisturbance, and then they'd find out I warn't in. Then Tom saidhe hadn't got candles enough, and he would slip in the kitchenand get some more. I didn't want him to try. I said Jim mightwake up and come. But Tom wanted to resk it; so we slid in thereand got three candles, and Tom laid five cents on the table forpay. Then we got out, and I was in a sweat to get away; butnothing would do Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was, on hishands and knees, and play something on him. I waited, and itseemed a good while, everything was so still and lonesome.

As soon as Tom was back we cut along the path, around thegarden fence, and by and by fetched up on the steep top of thehill the other side of the house. Tom said he slipped Jim's hatoff of his head and hung it on a limb right over him, and Jimstirred a little, but he didn't wake. Afterwards Jim said thewitches be witched him and put him in a trance, and rode him allover the State, and then set him under the trees again, and hunghis hat on a limb to show who done it. And next time Jim told ithe said they rode him down to New Orleans; and, after that, everytime he told it he spread it more and more, till by and by hesaid they rode him all over the world, and tired him most todeath, and his back was all over saddle-boils. Jim was monstrousproud about it, and he got so he wouldn't hardly notice the otherniggers. Niggers would come miles to hear Jim tell about it, andhe was more looked up to than any nigger in that country.Strange niggers would stand with their mouths open and look himall over, same as if he was a wonder. Niggers is always talkingabout witches in the dark by the kitchen fire; but whenever onewas talking and letting on to know all about such things, Jimwould happen in and say, "Hm! What you know 'bout witches?" andthat nigger was corked up and had to take a back seat. Jimalways kept that five-center piece round his neck with a string,and said it was a charm the devil give to him with his own hands,and told him he could cure anybody with it and fetch witcheswhenever he wanted to just by saying something to it; but henever told what it was he said to it. Niggers would come fromall around there and give Jim anything they had, just for a sightof that five-center piece; but they wouldn't touch it, becausethe devil had had his hands on it. Jim was most ruined for aservant, because he got stuck up on account of having seen thedevil and been rode by witches.

Well, when Tom and me got to the edge of the hilltop we lookedaway down into the village and could see three or four lightstwinkling, where there was sick folks, maybe; and the stars overus was sparkling ever so fine; and down by the village was theriver, a whole mile broad, and awful still and grand. We wentdown the hill and found Jo Harper and Ben Rogers, and two orthree more of the boys, hid in the old tanyard. So we unhitcheda skiff and pulled down the river two mile and a half, to the bigscar on the hillside, and went ashore.

We went to a clump of bushes, and Tom made everybody swear tokeep the secret, and then showed them a hole in the hill, rightin the thickest part of the bushes. Then we lit the candles, andcrawled in on our hands and knees. We went about two hundredyards, and then the cave opened up. Tom poked about amongst thepassages, and pretty soon ducked under a wall where you wouldn'ta noticed that there was a hole. We went along a narrow placeand got into a kind of room, all damp and sweaty and cold, andthere we stopped. Tom says:

"Now, we'll start this band of robbers and call it TomSawyer's Gang. Everybody that wants to join has got to take anoath, and write his name in blood."

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Everybody was willing. So Tom got out a sheet of paper thathe had wrote the oath on, and read it. It swore every boy tostick to the band, and never tell any of the secrets; and ifanybody done anything to any boy in the band, whichever boy wasordered to kill that person and his family must do it, and hemustn't eat and he mustn't sleep till he had killed them andhacked a cross in their breasts, which was the sign of the band.And nobody that didn't belong to the band could use that mark,and if he did he must be sued; and if he done it again he must bekilled. And if anybody that belonged to the band told thesecrets, he must have his throat cut, and then have his carcassburnt up and the ashes scattered all around, and his name blottedoff of the list with blood and never mentioned again by the gang,but have a curse put on it and be forgot forever.

Everybody said it was a real beautiful oath, and asked Tom ifhe got it out of his own head. He said, some of it, but the restwas out of pirate-books and robber-books, and every gang that washigh-toned had it.

Some thought it would be good to kill the FAMILIES of boysthat told the secrets. Tom said it was a good idea, so he took apencil and wrote it in. Then Ben Rogers says:

"Here's Huck Finn, he hain't got no family; what you going todo 'bout him?"

"Well, hain't he got a father?" says Tom Sawyer.

"Yes, he's got a father, but you can't never find him thesedays. He used to lay drunk with the hogs in the tanyard, but hehain't been seen in these parts for a year or more."

They talked it over, and they was going to rule me out,because they said every boy must have a family or somebody tokill, or else it wouldn't be fair and square for the others.Well, nobody could think of anything to do—everybody wasstumped, and set still. I was most ready to cry; but all at onceI thought of a way, and so I offered them Miss Watson—theycould kill her. Everybody said:

"Oh, she'll do. That's all right. Huck can come in."

Then they all stuck a pin in their fingers to get blood tosign with, and I made my mark on the paper.

"Now," says Ben Rogers, "what's the line of business of thisGang?"

"Nothing only robbery and murder," Tom said.

"But who are we going to rob?—houses, or cattle,or—"

"Stuff! stealing cattle and such things ain't robbery; it'sburglary," says Tom Sawyer. "We ain't burglars. That ain't nosort of style. We are highwaymen. We stop stages and carriageson the road, with masks on, and kill the people and take theirwatches and money."

"Must we always kill the people?"

"Oh, certainly. It's best. Some authorities think different,but mostly it's considered best to kill them—except somethat you bring to the cave here, and keep them till they'reransomed."

"Ransomed? What's that?"

"I don't know. But that's what they do. I've seen it inbooks; and so of course that's what we've got to do."

"But how can we do it if we don't know what it is?"

"Why, blame it all, we've GOT to do it. Don't I tell you it'sin the books? Do you want to go to doing different from what'sin the books, and get things all muddled up?"

"Oh, that's all very fine to SAY, Tom Sawyer, but how in thenation are these fellows going to be ransomed if we don't knowhow to do it to them?—that's the thing I want to get at.Now, what do you reckon it is?"

"Well, I don't know. But per'aps if we keep them till they'reransomed, it means that we keep them till they're dead."

"Now, that's something LIKE. That'll answer. Why couldn'tyou said that before? We'll keep them till they're ransomed todeath; and a bothersome lot they'll be, too—eating upeverything, and always trying to get loose."

"How you talk, Ben Rogers. How can they get loose whenthere's a guard over them, ready to shoot them down if they movea peg?"

"A guard! Well, that IS good. So somebody's got to set upall night and never get any sleep, just so as to watch them. Ithink that's foolishness. Why can't a body take a club and ransomthem as soon as they get here?"

"Because it ain't in the books so—that's why. Now, BenRogers, do you want to do things regular, or don'tyou?—that's the idea. Don't you reckon that the peoplethat made the books knows what's the correct thing to do? Do youreckon YOU can learn 'em anything? Not by a good deal. No, sir,we'll just go on and ransom them in the regular way."

"All right. I don't mind; but I say it's a fool way, anyhow.Say, do we kill the women, too?"

"Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't leton. Kill the women? No; nobody ever saw anything in the bookslike that. You fetch them to the cave, and you're always aspolite as pie to them; and by and by they fall in love with you,and never want to go home any more."

"Well, if that's the way I'm agreed, but I don't take no stockin it. Mighty soon we'll have the cave so cluttered up withwomen, and fellows waiting to be ransomed, that there won't be noplace for the robbers. But go ahead, I ain't got nothing tosay."

Little Tommy Barnes was asleep now, and when they waked him uphe was scared, and cried, and said he wanted to go home to hisma, and didn't want to be a robber any more.

So they all made fun of him, and called him cry-baby, and thatmade him mad, and he said he would go straight and tell all thesecrets. But Tom give him five cents to keep quiet, and said wewould all go home and meet next week, and rob somebody and killsome people.

Ben Rogers said he couldn't get out much, only Sundays, and sohe wanted to begin next Sunday; but all the boys said it would bewicked to do it on Sunday, and that settled the thing. Theyagreed to get together and fix a day as soon as they could, andthen we elected Tom Sawyer first captain and Jo Harper secondcaptain of the Gang, and so started home.

I clumb up the shed and crept into my window just before daywas breaking. My new clothes was all greased up and clayey, and Iwas dog-tired.

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CHAPTER III.

WELL, I got a good going-over in the morning from old MissWatson on account of my clothes; but the widow she didn't scold,but only cleaned off the grease and clay, and looked so sorrythat I thought I would behave awhile if I could. Then MissWatson she took me in the closet and prayed, but nothing come ofit. She told me to pray every day, and whatever I asked for Iwould get it. But it warn't so. I tried it. Once I got afish-line, but no hooks. It warn't any good to me without hooks.I tried for the hooks three or four times, but somehow Icouldn't make it work. By and by, one day, I asked Miss Watsonto try for me, but she said I was a fool. She never told me why,and I couldn't make it out no way.

I set down one time back in the woods, and had a long thinkabout it. I says to myself, if a body can get anything they prayfor, why don't Deacon Winn get back the money he lost on pork?Why can't the widow get back her silver snuffbox that was stole?Why can't Miss Watson fat up? No, says I to my self, there ain'tnothing in it. I went and told the widow about it, and she saidthe thing a body could get by praying for it was "spiritualgifts." This was too many for me, but she told me what shemeant—I must help other people, and do everything I couldfor other people, and look out for them all the time, and neverthink about myself. This was including Miss Watson, as I took it.I went out in the woods and turned it over in my mind a longtime, but I couldn't see no advantage about it—except forthe other people; so at last I reckoned I wouldn't worry about itany more, but just let it go. Sometimes the widow would take meone side and talk about Providence in a way to make a body'smouth water; but maybe next day Miss Watson would take hold andknock it all down again. I judged I could see that there was twoProvidences, and a poor chap would stand considerable show withthe widow's Providence, but if Miss Watson's got him there warn'tno help for him any more. I thought it all out, and reckoned Iwould belong to the widow's if he wanted me, though I couldn'tmake out how he was a-going to be any better off then than whathe was before, seeing I was so ignorant, and so kind of low-downand ornery.

Pap he hadn't been seen for more than a year, and that wascomfortable for me; I didn't want to see him no more. He used toalways whale me when he was sober and could get his hands on me;though I used to take to the woods most of the time when he wasaround. Well, about this time he was found in the riverdrownded, about twelve mile above town, so people said. Theyjudged it was him, anyway; said this drownded man was just hissize, and was ragged, and had uncommon long hair, which was alllike pap; but they couldn't make nothing out of the face, becauseit had been in the water so long it warn't much like a face atall. They said he was floating on his back in the water. Theytook him and buried him on the bank. But I warn't comfortablelong, because I happened to think of something. I knowed mightywell that a drownded man don't float on his back, but on hisface. So I knowed, then, that this warn't pap, but a womandressed up in a man's clothes. So I was uncomfortable again. Ijudged the old man would turn up again by and by, though I wishedhe wouldn't.

We played robber now and then about a month, and then Iresigned. All the boys did. We hadn't robbed nobody, hadn'tkilled any people, but only just pretended. We used to hop outof the woods and go charging down on hog-drivers and women incarts taking garden stuff to market, but we never hived any ofthem. Tom Sawyer called the hogs "ingots," and he called theturnips and stuff "julery," and we would go to the cave andpowwow over what we had done, and how many people we had killedand marked. But I couldn't see no profit in it. One time Tomsent a boy to run about town with a blazing stick, which hecalled a slogan (which was the sign for the Gang to gettogether), and then he said he had got secret news by his spiesthat next day a whole parcel of Spanish merchants and rich A-rabswas going to camp in Cave Hollow with two hundred elephants, andsix hundred camels, and over a thousand "sumter" mules, allloaded down with di'monds, and they didn't have only a guard offour hundred soldiers, and so we would lay in ambuscade, as hecalled it, and kill the lot and scoop the things. He said wemust slick up our swords and guns, and get ready. He never couldgo after even a turnip-cart but he must have the swords and gunsall scoured up for it, though they was only lath and broomsticks,and you might scour at them till you rotted, and then they warn'tworth a mouthful of ashes more than what they was before. Ididn't believe we could lick such a crowd of Spaniards andA-rabs, but I wanted to see the camels and elephants, so I was onhand next day, Saturday, in the ambuscade; and when we got theword we rushed out of the woods and down the hill. But therewarn't no Spaniards and A-rabs, and there warn't no camels nor noelephants. It warn't anything but a Sunday-school picnic, andonly a primer-class at that. We busted it up, and chased thechildren up the hollow; but we never got anything but somedoughnuts and jam, though Ben Rogers got a rag doll, and JoHarper got a hymn-book and a tract; and then the teacher chargedin, and made us drop everything and cut.

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I didn't see no di'monds, and I told Tom Sawyer so. He saidthere was loads of them there, anyway; and he said there wasA-rabs there, too, and elephants and things. I said, whycouldn't we see them, then? He said if I warn't so ignorant, buthad read a book called Don Quixote, I would know without asking.He said it was all done by enchantment. He said there washundreds of soldiers there, and elephants and treasure, and soon, but we had enemies which he called magicians; and they hadturned the whole thing into an infant Sunday-school, just out ofspite. I said, all right; then the thing for us to do was to gofor the magicians. Tom Sawyer said I was a numskull.

"Why," said he, "a magician could call up a lot of genies, andthey would hash you up like nothing before you could say JackRobinson. They are as tall as a tree and as big around as achurch."

"Well," I says, "s'pose we got some genies to helpUS—can't we lick the other crowd then?"

"How you going to get them?"

"I don't know. How do THEY get them?"

"Why, they rub an old tin lamp or an iron ring, and then thegenies come tearing in, with the thunder and lightning a-rippingaround and the smoke a-rolling, and everything they're told to dothey up and do it. They don't think nothing of pulling ashot-tower up by the roots, and belting a Sunday-schoolsuperintendent over the head with it—or any other man."

"Who makes them tear around so?"

"Why, whoever rubs the lamp or the ring. They belong towhoever rubs the lamp or the ring, and they've got to do whateverhe says. If he tells them to build a palace forty miles long outof di'monds, and fill it full of chewing-gum, or whatever youwant, and fetch an emperor's daughter from China for you tomarry, they've got to do it—and they've got to do it beforesun-up next morning, too. And more: they've got to waltz thatpalace around over the country wherever you want it, youunderstand."

"Well," says I, "I think they are a pack of flat-heads for notkeeping the palace themselves 'stead of fooling them away likethat. And what's more—if I was one of them I would see aman in Jericho before I would drop my business and come to himfor the rubbing of an old tin lamp."

"How you talk, Huck Finn. Why, you'd HAVE to come when herubbed it, whether you wanted to or not."

"What! and I as high as a tree and as big as a church? Allright, then; I WOULD come; but I lay I'd make that man climb thehighest tree there was in the country."

"Shucks, it ain't no use to talk to you, Huck Finn. You don'tseem to know anything, somehow—perfect saphead."

I thought all this over for two or three days, and then Ireckoned I would see if there was anything in it. I got an oldtin lamp and an iron ring, and went out in the woods and rubbedand rubbed till I sweat like an Injun, calculating to build apalace and sell it; but it warn't no use, none of the geniescome. So then I judged that all that stuff was only just one ofTom Sawyer's lies. I reckoned he believed in the A-rabs and theelephants, but as for me I think different. It had all the marksof a Sunday-school.

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HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (17)

CHAPTER IV.

WELL, three or four months run along, and it was well into thewinter now. I had been to school most all the time and couldspell and read and write just a little, and could say themultiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and Idon't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was tolive forever. I don't take no stock in mathematics, anyway.

At first I hated the school, but by and by I got so I couldstand it. Whenever I got uncommon tired I played hookey, and thehiding I got next day done me good and cheered me up. So thelonger I went to school the easier it got to be. I was gettingsort of used to the widow's ways, too, and they warn't so raspyon me. Living in a house and sleeping in a bed pulled on mepretty tight mostly, but before the cold weather I used to slideout and sleep in the woods sometimes, and so that was a rest tome. I liked the old ways best, but I was getting so I liked thenew ones, too, a little bit. The widow said I was coming alongslow but sure, and doing very satisfactory. She said she warn'tashamed of me.

One morning I happened to turn over the salt-cellar atbreakfast. I reached for some of it as quick as I could to throwover my left shoulder and keep off the bad luck, but Miss Watsonwas in ahead of me, and crossed me off. She says, "Take yourhands away, Huckleberry; what a mess you are always making!" Thewidow put in a good word for me, but that warn't going to keepoff the bad luck, I knowed that well enough. I started out,after breakfast, feeling worried and shaky, and wondering whereit was going to fall on me, and what it was going to be. Thereis ways to keep off some kinds of bad luck, but this wasn't oneof them kind; so I never tried to do anything, but just pokedalong low-spirited and on the watch-out.

I went down to the front garden and clumb over the stile whereyou go through the high board fence. There was an inch of newsnow on the ground, and I seen somebody's tracks. They had comeup from the quarry and stood around the stile a while, and thenwent on around the garden fence. It was funny they hadn't comein, after standing around so. I couldn't make it out. It wasvery curious, somehow. I was going to follow around, but Istooped down to look at the tracks first. I didn't noticeanything at first, but next I did. There was a cross in the leftboot-heel made with big nails, to keep off the devil.

I was up in a second and shinning down the hill. I lookedover my shoulder every now and then, but I didn't see nobody. Iwas at Judge Thatcher's as quick as I could get there. Hesaid:

"Why, my boy, you are all out of breath. Did you come foryour interest?"

"No, sir," I says; "is there some for me?"

"Oh, yes, a half-yearly is in last night—over a hundredand fifty dollars. Quite a fortune for you. You had better letme invest it along with your six thousand, because if you take ityou'll spend it."

"No, sir," I says, "I don't want to spend it. I don't want itat all—nor the six thousand, nuther. I want you to takeit; I want to give it to you—the six thousand and all."

HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (18)

He looked surprised. He couldn't seem to make it out. Hesays:

"Why, what can you mean, my boy?"

I says, "Don't you ask me no questions about it, please.You'll take it—won't you?"

He says:

"Well, I'm puzzled. Is something the matter?"

"Please take it," says I, "and don't ask me nothing—thenI won't have to tell no lies."

He studied a while, and then he says:

"Oho-o! I think I see. You want to SELL all your property tome—not give it. That's the correct idea."

Then he wrote something on a paper and read it over, andsays:

"There; you see it says 'for a consideration.' That means Ihave bought it of you and paid you for it. Here's a dollar foryou. Now you sign it."

So I signed it, and left.

Miss Watson's nigger, Jim, had a hair-ball as big as yourfist, which had been took out of the fourth stomach of an ox, andhe used to do magic with it. He said there was a spirit insideof it, and it knowed everything. So I went to him that night andtold him pap was here again, for I found his tracks in the snow.What I wanted to know was, what he was going to do, and was hegoing to stay? Jim got out his hair-ball and said something overit, and then he held it up and dropped it on the floor. It fellpretty solid, and only rolled about an inch. Jim tried it again,and then another time, and it acted just the same. Jim got downon his knees, and put his ear against it and listened. But itwarn't no use; he said it wouldn't talk. He said sometimes itwouldn't talk without money. I told him I had an old slickcounterfeit quarter that warn't no good because the brass showedthrough the silver a little, and it wouldn't pass nohow, even ifthe brass didn't show, because it was so slick it felt greasy,and so that would tell on it every time. (I reckoned I wouldn'tsay nothing about the dollar I got from the judge.) I said it waspretty bad money, but maybe the hair-ball would take it, becausemaybe it wouldn't know the difference. Jim smelt it and bit itand rubbed it, and said he would manage so the hair-ball wouldthink it was good. He said he would split open a raw Irishpotato and stick the quarter in between and keep it there allnight, and next morning you couldn't see no brass, and itwouldn't feel greasy no more, and so anybody in town would takeit in a minute, let alone a hair-ball. Well, I knowed a potatowould do that before, but I had forgot it.

HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (19)

Jim put the quarter under the hair-ball, and got down andlistened again. This time he said the hair-ball was all right.He said it would tell my whole fortune if I wanted it to. Isays, go on. So the hair-ball talked to Jim, and Jim told it tome. He says:

"Yo' ole father doan' know yit what he's a-gwyne to do.Sometimes he spec he'll go 'way, en den agin he spec he'll stay.De bes' way is to res' easy en let de ole man take his own way.Dey's two angels hoverin' roun' 'bout him. One uv 'em is whiteen shiny, en t'other one is black. De white one gits him to goright a little while, den de black one sail in en bust it all up.A body can't tell yit which one gwyne to fetch him at de las'.But you is all right. You gwyne to have considable trouble inyo' life, en considable joy. Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, ensometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne togit well agin. Dey's two gals flyin' 'bout you in yo' life. Oneuv 'em's light en t'other one is dark. One is rich en t'other ispo'. You's gwyne to marry de po' one fust en de rich one by enby. You wants to keep 'way fum de water as much as you kin, endon't run no resk, 'kase it's down in de bills dat you's gwyne togit hung."

When I lit my candle and went up to my room that night theresat pap his own self!

HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (20)

CHAPTER V.

I HAD shut the door to. Then I turned around and there hewas. I used to be scared of him all the time, he tanned me somuch. I reckoned I was scared now, too; but in a minute I see Iwas mistaken—that is, after the first jolt, as you may say,when my breath sort of hitched, he being so unexpected; but rightaway after I see I warn't scared of him worth bothring about.

He was most fifty, and he looked it. His hair was long andtangled and greasy, and hung down, and you could see his eyesshining through like he was behind vines. It was all black, nogray; so was his long, mixed-up whiskers. There warn't no colorin his face, where his face showed; it was white; not likeanother man's white, but a white to make a body sick, a white tomake a body's flesh crawl—a tree-toad white, a fish-bellywhite. As for his clothes—just rags, that was all. He hadone ankle resting on t'other knee; the boot on that foot wasbusted, and two of his toes stuck through, and he worked them nowand then. His hat was laying on the floor—an old blackslouch with the top caved in, like a lid.

I stood a-looking at him; he set there a-looking at me, withhis chair tilted back a little. I set the candle down. Inoticed the window was up; so he had clumb in by the shed. Hekept a-looking me all over. By and by he says:

"Starchy clothes—very. You think you're a good deal ofa big-bug, DON'T you?"

"Maybe I am, maybe I ain't," I says.

"Don't you give me none o' your lip," says he. "You've put onconsiderable many frills since I been away. I'll take you down apeg before I get done with you. You're educated, too, theysay—can read and write. You think you're better'n yourfather, now, don't you, because he can't? I'LL take it out ofyou. Who told you you might meddle with such hifalut'nfoolishness, hey?—who told you you could?"

"The widow. She told me."

"The widow, hey?—and who told the widow she could put inher shovel about a thing that ain't none of her business?"

"Nobody never told her."

"Well, I'll learn her how to meddle. And looky here—youdrop that school, you hear? I'll learn people to bring up a boyto put on airs over his own father and let on to be better'n whatHE is. You lemme catch you fooling around that school again, youhear? Your mother couldn't read, and she couldn't write, nuther,before she died. None of the family couldn't before THEY died.I can't; and here you're a-swelling yourself up like this. Iain't the man to stand it—you hear? Say, lemme hear youread."

I took up a book and begun something about General Washingtonand the wars. When I'd read about a half a minute, he fetched thebook a whack with his hand and knocked it across the house. Hesays:

"It's so. You can do it. I had my doubts when you told me.Now looky here; you stop that putting on frills. I won't haveit. I'll lay for you, my smarty; and if I catch you about thatschool I'll tan you good. First you know you'll get religion,too. I never see such a son."

He took up a little blue and yaller picture of some cows and aboy, and says:

"What's this?"

"It's something they give me for learning my lessonsgood."

He tore it up, and says:

"I'll give you something better—I'll give you acowhide."

He set there a-mumbling and a-growling a minute, and then hesays:

"AIN'T you a sweet-scented dandy, though? A bed; andbedclothes; and a look'n'-glass; and a piece of carpet on thefloor—and your own father got to sleep with the hogs in thetanyard. I never see such a son. I bet I'll take some o' thesefrills out o' you before I'm done with you. Why, there ain't noend to your airs—they say you're rich. Hey?—how'sthat?"

HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (21)

"They lie—that's how."

"Looky here—mind how you talk to me; I'm a-standingabout all I can stand now—so don't gimme no sass. I'vebeen in town two days, and I hain't heard nothing but about youbein' rich. I heard about it away down the river, too. That'swhy I come. You git me that money to-morrow—I wantit."

"I hain't got no money."

"It's a lie. Judge Thatcher's got it. You git it. I wantit."

"I hain't got no money, I tell you. You ask Judge Thatcher;he'll tell you the same."

"All right. I'll ask him; and I'll make him pungle, too, orI'll know the reason why. Say, how much you got in your pocket?I want it."

"I hain't got only a dollar, and I want that to—"

"It don't make no difference what you want it for—youjust shell it out."

He took it and bit it to see if it was good, and then he saidhe was going down town to get some whisky; said he hadn't had adrink all day. When he had got out on the shed he put his head inagain, and cussed me for putting on frills and trying to bebetter than him; and when I reckoned he was gone he come back andput his head in again, and told me to mind about that school,because he was going to lay for me and lick me if I didn't dropthat.

Next day he was drunk, and he went to Judge Thatcher's andbullyragged him, and tried to make him give up the money; but hecouldn't, and then he swore he'd make the law force him.

The judge and the widow went to law to get the court to takeme away from him and let one of them be my guardian; but it was anew judge that had just come, and he didn't know the old man; sohe said courts mustn't interfere and separate families if theycould help it; said he'd druther not take a child away from itsfather. So Judge Thatcher and the widow had to quit on thebusiness.

That pleased the old man till he couldn't rest. He said he'dcowhide me till I was black and blue if I didn't raise some moneyfor him. I borrowed three dollars from Judge Thatcher, and paptook it and got drunk, and went a-blowing around and cussing andwhooping and carrying on; and he kept it up all over town, with atin pan, till most midnight; then they jailed him, and next daythey had him before court, and jailed him again for a week. Buthe said HE was satisfied; said he was boss of his son, and he'dmake it warm for HIM.

When he got out the new judge said he was a-going to make aman of him. So he took him to his own house, and dressed him upclean and nice, and had him to breakfast and dinner and supperwith the family, and was just old pie to him, so to speak. Andafter supper he talked to him about temperance and such thingstill the old man cried, and said he'd been a fool, and fooledaway his life; but now he was a-going to turn over a new leaf andbe a man nobody wouldn't be ashamed of, and he hoped the judgewould help him and not look down on him. The judge said he couldhug him for them words; so he cried, and his wife she criedagain; pap said he'd been a man that had always beenmisunderstood before, and the judge said he believed it. The oldman said that what a man wanted that was down was sympathy, andthe judge said it was so; so they cried again. And when it wasbedtime the old man rose up and held out his hand, and says:

"Look at it, gentlemen and ladies all; take a-hold of it;shake it. There's a hand that was the hand of a hog; but it ain'tso no more; it's the hand of a man that's started in on a newlife, and'll die before he'll go back. You mark themwords—don't forget I said them. It's a clean hand now;shake it—don't be afeard."

HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (22)

So they shook it, one after the other, all around, and cried.The judge's wife she kissed it. Then the old man he signed apledge—made his mark. The judge said it was the holiesttime on record, or something like that. Then they tucked the oldman into a beautiful room, which was the spare room, and in thenight some time he got powerful thirsty and clumb out on to theporch-roof and slid down a stanchion and traded his new coat fora jug of forty-rod, and clumb back again and had a good old time;and towards daylight he crawled out again, drunk as a fiddler,and rolled off the porch and broke his left arm in two places,and was most froze to death when somebody found him after sun-up.And when they come to look at that spare room they had to takesoundings before they could navigate it.

The judge he felt kind of sore. He said he reckoned a bodycould reform the old man with a shotgun, maybe, but he didn'tknow no other way.

HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (23)
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HUCKLEBERRY FINN, By Mark Twain, Part 1. (2024)
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